I’m sitting in my old room, the one that is now my sister’s…. and I realize I’ve come so far. This place doesn’t even feel like it was ever mine. it’s totally new. And now, in a couple of hours, I will be driving my packed up truck to somewhere that really is totally new. Grass Valley. I’m scared, I’m not scared. I’m fucking scared. My fears revolve around depression and loneliness, and self-deprecation as a coping mechanism—BUT, I’ve learned so much about myself over the last few years and grown so far beyond those caveats.
I care about my SELF, I’ve learned that my well being is the most important, because even if I want to give—I can’t fully do that if I’m not fully complete and dedicated to myself. I AM.
I intend to meet new people and form lifelong bonds, and learn, learn, learn; but first and foremost, I’m going to sit with myself. It’s not that I don’t know how to do that, or haven’t been doing this—but being alone, and sitting with yourself are two totally different things. No judgment. I’m ready to expand my heart, to understand more about the universe and human connection, and witness the beauty that exists all around us, the kind you have to go slowly to really see.
Here’s to saying good bye to this:
And hello to this:
Dear nature, I can’t wait to hear all of the stories you’re willing to tell me, I promise to be a respectful and patient listener.